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Are you unhappy in your relationship? Do you and your partner constantly fight? Has the person who's supposed to be your source of comfort, support, and joy become someone you both love and despise? What you're going through is well beyond the normal relationship challenges most people experience, because you're stuck in a dysfunctional relationship. You may also feel you're the only one this is happening to, that everyone else fares better with their partners, that there's something wrong with you, and worst of all that you deserve to be treated badly--because your partner has convinced, cajoled, bullied, and sometimes battered you into believing you're the cause. Fortunately, you're not alone, and help is here from someone who has lived what you're living. Thomas G. Fiffer, Executive Editor for The Good Men Project whose articles have over 5 million page views, has written extensively about dysfunctional relationships and gathered his wisdom in "Why It Can't Work: Detaching from dysfunctional relationships to make room for true love." The author survived two marriages defined--and ultimately destroyed--by dysfunctional dynamics and has learned how to break the patterns that prevented him from being happy and forming healthy emotional and romantic attachments. "Why It Can't Work" shows you how to recognize the problem, identify the source, and take decisive action--either to right your relationship or abandon it. Through an ordered sequence of enlightening articles collectively shared over 300,000 times on Facebook, the author gently but assertively reveals the painful truths about dysfunctional relationships, reminding us that romantic partnerships are supposed to be a healthy source of love and support, and letting us know it's OK to walk away when they aren't. If you or someone you know is involved in a dysfunctional relationship, reading "Why It Can't Work" will light the way back to happiness and peace.
- Sales Rank: #1973106 in Books
- Published on: 2015-04-25
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.81" h x .31" w x 5.06" l, .31 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 134 pages
Review
"Fiffer's book takes the conversation of dysfunctional relationships in a new direction. He identifies the actions and statements that each relationship participant does, says, or responds to and offers a comparison. The stories and examples not only identify the behaviors of the aggressor but also discuss the ways in which the receiver reacts, thus allowing readers to identify themselves in the role they play at home. The text gently invites the readers examine the self and determine best next steps for mental, emotional, and physical healing and safety." -- PsychCentral
About the Author
Thomas G. Fiffer, Senior Editor, Ethics, at The Good Men Project, is a graduate of Yale University and holds an M.A. in creative writing from the University of Illinois at Chicago. He is a professional writer, speaker, and storyteller with a focus on diagnosing and healing dysfunctional relationships. You can find him at Tom Aplomb and connect with him on Facebook and Twitter. He is also working on his first novel.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
You deserve this book~
By Edie Weinstein
Tom speaks from his own keen observation and witness to relationships that fell short of his desires for healthy and whole loving interactions.. He escaped with his sanity intact and as a thriver, not just a survivor, since his using his experience to help others avoid the pitfalls and perils that he lost himself in, as well as to heal from damage done.
I like the conversational style, as if he and the reader are sitting across a table from each other and sharing thoughts, without just venting, but attempting to find meaning in the muck. I appreciate that, as a man, he has the courage to admit that he was abused. Not every man is willing to do that, so, in a sense, he speaks for those who aren't able or willing to speak for themselves.
A gem of a book that will help the reader steer clear of dysfunctional relationships as well. You deserve it, as do your future relationship partners.
One thing that jumps out, is that there are no absolutes. I recognized some signs in my own paradoxical marriage, but no one is ever or never one thing or another. There were times when both of us took on roles of judge, jury and prosecuting attorney, good guy and bad guy.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
easy read. I soon realized that it was much ...
By Marinia DeFrisco
When I first picked up this ebook, I thought this compilation of articles would be a quick, easy read. I soon realized that it was much more than that as I kept stopping to take stock of myself and contemplate deeply new directions for my life. Just a few sentences or a turn of phrase would ring through me and make me think “That is so true, but I never looked at it that way.” Tom Fiffer has a way of stripping down the dynamics of dysfunctional relationships with brilliant clarity. That’s really the gift I was looking for in reading this book-a little clarity about complex, confusing situations with people I love. I wanted to know if something admittedly wrong in my relationships was because there was something very wrong with me. I’ve always believed in the power of love and wondered that if I was giving every ounce of love I had to my relationships why they didn't seem able to work. Tom Fiffer breaks down the negative patterns for me in this book, and he does it with all the love in the world.
The man writes from the heart and from heartfelt experience. It takes an amazing person to own his relationship mistakes, learn from them, and then expose those mistakes for the benefit of others. Tom Fiffer writes as though each and every one of his readers was a dear friend needing the kind of advice that comes from honestly baring your soul to a friend and admitting “Hey, I know what you’re going through. I’ve made my mistakes, and this is what I’ve learned.” Then he generously sets it all before us in stories and checklists infused with wisdom, inspiration, and wit. And, let's face it, sometimes you have to laugh so you don't cry. Buy the book. But be sure to give yourself enough time to read it, because the river here runs deep.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Great Book! Compelling Author!
By Tim Mousseau
I feel like I am better equipped to be in a relationship after reading through this book. It provided me information I never knew I needed and helped open my eyes to relationship secrets in a compelling manner.
Thomas Fiffer is a natural writer and it shows across his work. I was able to easily read and take home pieces from each of his chapters while learning significantly. I love his writing style and it feels like a personal conversation with a friend each time I read his work.
The book is a must for anyone in any relationship, so essentially everyone.
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